Do you know how to make relationships last? Would you like to know the secrets to successful marriages? If you are searching for a relationship that goes on and on and endures throughout time, you need to consider the following points. There are four major predictors that determine which relationships will survive and which ones will not.
Why Relationships Fail: Four Predictors
The power of positive versus negative comments
People in failing relationships look for what is wrong with others (especially their mate) instead of what is right. During a conversation where the two people held opposing views, the ones who had a good relationship said something nice to the other one five times more than they said something critical. In relationships that don't last, the ratio of good comments versus bad ones to each other was one to one.
Accepting responsibility to be in a committed relationship
When one or both people don't take responsibility for their commitment and allow themselves to be attracted to others, they are in trouble. Some people feel there is nothing wrong with a little "harmless" flirtation. On the contrary, research shows that in every close conversation, there is the possibility of secreting oxytocin (a hormonal chemical) that creates a bond. These interactions can make people feel like they are falling in love. But people can consciously choose not to cross a boundary when they feel even slightly attracted to someone else. They can change their focus. They do not have to be a victim of this attraction.
Forgiveness
There is no "perfect" relationship and even the best ones will have some ups and downs, but is is how couples ride those rough times that determines if the relationship succeeds. People who are good at relating will try to repair any damage that is done in their partnership. They will offer apologies and make gestures to right what has caused hurt.
Attitude
Understanding that you need to teach others how to treat you in order to get your needs met will move you from the victim column into the winning column. There are, however, some attitudes that indicate a relationship will break up. The kinds of behavior that will erode closeness are contempt, criticism, defensiveness, and stonewalling.
Why relationships don't last is profound but simple. You need two people who treat each other with love, affection, respect, and support, and have a commitment to each other. You deserve a love that lasts--so think about the above.
MillionaireMatchmakers is dedicated to bringing millionaire men and millionaire women together with their millionaire match for dating, enduring relationships.
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Signs of an Affair Can Be Tricky
Cheating partners may not seem like a big deal unless you suspect you might have one.
I just finished reading 46 Clues Your Partner is Having an Affair and it got me thinking. Just how many people are sneaking off with someone else?
The internet leads to all kinds of numbers on cheating. Some surveys found over 50% of the people polled to be unfaithful (both men and women!). Think that's worrying? Consider this: studies done worldwide show that about 2 of every 10 of us were born as the result of an affair!
You can even find websites dedicated to catching cheating partners. If you're thinking of dating somebody, maybe you want to check if they are a serial cheater! One of these sites is Woman Savers, which is a forum for women to "dish the dirt" on cheating men and inform whole world about them (photos included).
If all of this is so, and we generally have a number of partners throughout our lives, doesn't this mean that at some point we have a cheater on our hands? And if we have one, do we know it? Or do we turn a blind eye?
Reflecting on the people in my own life, I realize that a great many of them or their partners have cheated in one relationship or another. Some are serial cheaters, but many have only done it once. No one is really immune!
Knowing what to look for - beyond just the classic lipstick on the collar sign - will help you be more aware. So have a look through these 46 clues.
A word of caution with stuff like this...
You might panic thinking, "Number 3 sounds familiar. So do 6 & 10. And 14, 19, 25, & 40 too!"
But before you march off to declare your loved one an adulterer, wait a minute.
Relax!
Ask yourself... could there be another explanation? Sometimes there is. It's tricky, but remember that doing something rash could end-up hurting your relationship for no reason. People generally don't take well to being accused of cheating, especially when they're not.
This doesn't mean you should let your guard down.
Just pay attention.
A particularly good piece of advice from the list is to observe how your partners' friends and coworkers behave towards you. You can even extend this to relatives too. There's a good chance that if your partner has stopped confiding in you, then s/he is talking to someone else. And while your beloved may be good at lying to you, others may have trouble doing so. But again, this can be tricky...and you must use a great deal of tact. Otherwise you risk damaging your rapport with these people if they sense you don't trust your partner and are just hunting-down info.
If you haven't yet reached the point of suspicion, then take action!
You can do something to limit the chances your partner might wander.
Whether you've been together for ten weeks or ten years...don't forget that relationships always need some revamping to stay fresh. No matter how tired or busy you feel, putting extra effort into your relationship now (before an affair starts) will save you heartache down the road.
Don't let things fizzle out.
Put some time into revitalizing your bond today.
Wishing you luck in love...
I just finished reading 46 Clues Your Partner is Having an Affair and it got me thinking. Just how many people are sneaking off with someone else?
The internet leads to all kinds of numbers on cheating. Some surveys found over 50% of the people polled to be unfaithful (both men and women!). Think that's worrying? Consider this: studies done worldwide show that about 2 of every 10 of us were born as the result of an affair!
You can even find websites dedicated to catching cheating partners. If you're thinking of dating somebody, maybe you want to check if they are a serial cheater! One of these sites is Woman Savers, which is a forum for women to "dish the dirt" on cheating men and inform whole world about them (photos included).
If all of this is so, and we generally have a number of partners throughout our lives, doesn't this mean that at some point we have a cheater on our hands? And if we have one, do we know it? Or do we turn a blind eye?
Reflecting on the people in my own life, I realize that a great many of them or their partners have cheated in one relationship or another. Some are serial cheaters, but many have only done it once. No one is really immune!
Knowing what to look for - beyond just the classic lipstick on the collar sign - will help you be more aware. So have a look through these 46 clues.
A word of caution with stuff like this...
You might panic thinking, "Number 3 sounds familiar. So do 6 & 10. And 14, 19, 25, & 40 too!"
But before you march off to declare your loved one an adulterer, wait a minute.
Relax!
Ask yourself... could there be another explanation? Sometimes there is. It's tricky, but remember that doing something rash could end-up hurting your relationship for no reason. People generally don't take well to being accused of cheating, especially when they're not.
This doesn't mean you should let your guard down.
Just pay attention.
A particularly good piece of advice from the list is to observe how your partners' friends and coworkers behave towards you. You can even extend this to relatives too. There's a good chance that if your partner has stopped confiding in you, then s/he is talking to someone else. And while your beloved may be good at lying to you, others may have trouble doing so. But again, this can be tricky...and you must use a great deal of tact. Otherwise you risk damaging your rapport with these people if they sense you don't trust your partner and are just hunting-down info.
If you haven't yet reached the point of suspicion, then take action!
You can do something to limit the chances your partner might wander.
Whether you've been together for ten weeks or ten years...don't forget that relationships always need some revamping to stay fresh. No matter how tired or busy you feel, putting extra effort into your relationship now (before an affair starts) will save you heartache down the road.
Don't let things fizzle out.
Put some time into revitalizing your bond today.
Wishing you luck in love...
How to write an online dating profile
Make sure you stand out from the crowd!
Take your time
Take your time writing your profile. Make notes about your personality, and jot down your positive attributes, interests, likes, dislikes, before you start to write something out properly.
Choosing a username
Your username is the first thing people see about you, so if you're stuck for choosing a username, think about your interests, where you live or who you are. If you like cycling, try keencyclist. If that's taken then you could add your location, NYCkeencyclist, or maybe keen-cyclist, keencyclist2005, etc.
Photo Personals
Include a recent photo of yourself. Personal ads accompanied by a photo, will attract more than five times the number of replies!
Avoid acronyms and abbreviations
Acronyms and abbreviations are OK in newspaper ads where line space is at a premium. Online, however, you're not restricted. So avoid things like GSOH, SWF, DWM, etc. Why confuse people? If you do have a GSOH (good sense of humour) it would be better to show that in your profile.
Catch line
That all important catch line can be tricky to write. If you are having a problem coming up with a something why not take a clue from music, poetry or literature? A lyric snippet may express just what you want. But do also check out other member's profiles as well, and see what they use for catch lines.
Update Profile Regularly
Keep your profile up to date. Keep changing it a little. Many sites will state when your profile was last updated and allow members to search those by most recently updated. Other members will be more likely to look at your profile.
Check your spelling
Do check spelling before you post your profile! If you see any spelling mistakes on this site you can always email us here!
Avoid negativity
Cannot be said enough! Emphasize the positive things about yourself in your profile.
Be honest
There's little point in writing about the person you'd like to be. Sooner or later, your potential partner will figure out there's something wrong.
Men and Women
For Men: Avoid stating what type of person you want. Instead describe the kind of person you are, and let those reading your profile decide if they're compatible.
For Women: It's ok to state the type of person you want to meet, because there are more men searching for women! Having said that, remember your chances of meeting someone wonderful increase if your criteria are not too restrictive!
For Both: Don't have a list of characteristics that your potential partner must have, rather have a list of those that they should not have. Selection this way round will increase the number of potential partners but without the red flags!
Take your time
Take your time writing your profile. Make notes about your personality, and jot down your positive attributes, interests, likes, dislikes, before you start to write something out properly.
Choosing a username
Your username is the first thing people see about you, so if you're stuck for choosing a username, think about your interests, where you live or who you are. If you like cycling, try keencyclist. If that's taken then you could add your location, NYCkeencyclist, or maybe keen-cyclist, keencyclist2005, etc.
Photo Personals
Include a recent photo of yourself. Personal ads accompanied by a photo, will attract more than five times the number of replies!
Avoid acronyms and abbreviations
Acronyms and abbreviations are OK in newspaper ads where line space is at a premium. Online, however, you're not restricted. So avoid things like GSOH, SWF, DWM, etc. Why confuse people? If you do have a GSOH (good sense of humour) it would be better to show that in your profile.
Catch line
That all important catch line can be tricky to write. If you are having a problem coming up with a something why not take a clue from music, poetry or literature? A lyric snippet may express just what you want. But do also check out other member's profiles as well, and see what they use for catch lines.
Update Profile Regularly
Keep your profile up to date. Keep changing it a little. Many sites will state when your profile was last updated and allow members to search those by most recently updated. Other members will be more likely to look at your profile.
Check your spelling
Do check spelling before you post your profile! If you see any spelling mistakes on this site you can always email us here!
Avoid negativity
Cannot be said enough! Emphasize the positive things about yourself in your profile.
Be honest
There's little point in writing about the person you'd like to be. Sooner or later, your potential partner will figure out there's something wrong.
Men and Women
For Men: Avoid stating what type of person you want. Instead describe the kind of person you are, and let those reading your profile decide if they're compatible.
For Women: It's ok to state the type of person you want to meet, because there are more men searching for women! Having said that, remember your chances of meeting someone wonderful increase if your criteria are not too restrictive!
For Both: Don't have a list of characteristics that your potential partner must have, rather have a list of those that they should not have. Selection this way round will increase the number of potential partners but without the red flags!
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